FMA The Senior Years
by GryphonWonder14
Summary: Ever wonder what the FMA cast would be like when they're 90? Too bad, here it is. R&R!


Full Metal Alchemist- The Senior Years

My Ruro Ken story went so well, I decided to make a sequel, though it's in FMA. Well, if you've ever wondered about whet the cast would be like in their ninety's, here you go. If not, too bad. Read it anyways. The weird ideas are brought to you by no other than my brother. So blame him if you don't like it.

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"Did we ever find the Philosopher's stone?" A white haired Elric turned his wrinkly head to glance at his rusting brother.

"Al...? Hello, Al?"

The aged head slowly turned to face the older brother with a sickening screech.

"Huh?"

"I said did we ever find that thing we were trying to find all those years ago?"

"What were we looking for again?"

"Beats me." Al's leg suddenly fell off and landed on the cold ground under the bench the two were sitting at.

"Oh, darn it all! That's the fourth time this week!"

"I'll fix it Al!" Edward leaned toward his brother and put his hands in a clapping position.

"Now how do I do this again?"

Out of nowhere, a eighty- four year old Winery slowly made her way using a walker to stand beside the ageing Elrics.

"Don't worry; I'll fix that up in a jiffy." The granny leaned down to pick up the broken leg as a sickening crack sounded throughout the park.

"Aww, my back!" Nether the less, she managed to pick up the arm. It wiggled a little in her grasp.

"Now how do you do this again…?"

"I don't know…"

"…"

"So, why didn't you marry me?"

"Because, you good for nothing geezer, you ran away during our wedding!"

"Really? I don't remember that."

"Actually brother…"

"You thought you saw some red stone on the ground and ran after it. I didn't see you for three months!"

"Oh yeah! Now I remember. I'm sorry."

"Oh, shut up! It's a little late for that!"

"But, I….."

"You what?"

"Huh? I what? …What were we talking about again?"

"Never mind."

"What ever happened to old Pinako?

"She died."

"Oh."

Suddenly, a tall muscular geezer popped up carrying a cane.

"Hey, how come Armstrong can still walk?"

"Because, Edward, I'm stronger than you, and this strength was passed down from generations in the Armstrong family line!" Sparkles appeared by his face but disappeared in seconds. Obviously, age comes with its disadvantages.

"Anyways, who wants to play bingo!"

"Yeah! Bingo!" A chorus of cheers rang out.

"Bingo at the nursery home!"

And so, the four geezers slowly made their way to the home and played bingo late into the night, that is, seven pm. Alas, Al never won a game because he was still missing a leg and was completely rusted over.

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Somewhere deep underground, three sins did absolutely nothing for there was nothing to do underground except that. A balding Envy amused himself in front of the mirror, turning into random people and trying to be funny. It wasn't working. For some reason, Lust sat on a chair in the middle of the room, even though she was supposed to be dead a while ago. Oh well. Gluttony ate dirt. There wasn't anything to eat but dirt, so he just ate that. After a few mouthfuls, he suddenly asked.

"Why do we all look old, we're homunculi, aren't we supposed to live forever?"

"Wow. That was the most intelligent question I have ever heard from him. Usually it's 'can I eat him/ her?' and that gets really annoying. By the way, look at me, I'm Abe Lincoln!"

"Urrggh! I'm surrounded by idiots. But really, why are we old?"

"I think it has something to do with it being mandatory to be included in the story."

"Oh."

"…"

"Weren't we going to plan something about alchemists and the philosopher's stone or something?"

"The what?"

"Never mind."

"Now I'm an elephant!"

"That's great."

There was an awkward silence as everyone continued to be bored and Gluttony continued to eat dirt.

"What is the meaning of life?" Envy suddenly inquired, wanting to start a conversation.

"I think it's 42." Gluttony stopped eating dirt and answered.

"Oh. Wait a second… how did you know, Gluttony?"

"I think he gets like that when he isn't on medication."

"Wow. Maybe I have amazing intellect when I'm not on medication."

"No Envy, you're psychotic when you're not on pills or something."

"Oh. Check it out! I'm Darth Vader! Join the dark side or die!"

"Would you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Stop being annoying!"

"I'm not annoying."

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not! ...Now I'm an old person!"

"No, that's your original form."

"Oh."

"Do you think there are worms in this dirt?"

"Umm… Hey look, it's Roy Mustang!"

"Let's get him!"

"Aiyyee! I'm not Roy, I'm Envy!"

"Sure, and I had dinner with the pill bunny yesterday."

"The pill bunny's just a myth for us old people!"

"Exactly!"

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"I'm going to become Fuehrer and make all female officers wear mini skirts!"

"Sir, you've already been Fuehrer and that bill was deemed unconstitutional."

"Oh. Will you go out with me?"

"Roy, we're married." A rather annoyed Hawkeye answered the white- haired Mustang as they worked n their paperwork. Actually, Riza was working; Roy was playing with a pen.

"Oh yeah."

"Don't you have work to do?"

"Umm, yeah… I thought having our own base camp would be more fun."

All of a sudden, the doors to the office burst open and Fuery speed into the room on an electric wheel chair. He was a little younger, though still had a cane and balding head.

"Scar was spotted by the park!"

"Scar? Again! I thought we arrested that guy!"

"No, we weren't able to catch him for fifty years now."

"That's kind of sad, but let's go!"

The officers quickly assembled the aging Havoc and the bald Breda, and soon found themselves running (as quickly as they could in their elder years using canes, walkers, and wheelchairs) from the building they used as a base camp. The military kicked them out a while ago due to old age but the retired officers still had it in them, or so they thought…

Roy wheeled ahead of the group on a wheelchair, a snail crawled under it.

"Hey, it's that snail again! I'll beat you this time!"

After thirty minutes of waddling four blocks to the park and getting beat by a snail, the team quickly spotted Scar trying to steal an old lady's purse. Actually, the granny was whacking him with it as he grabbed for it.

"That's just not right."

"How else would he get money? Let's get him!"

"Urrggh, an alchemist. I vow to kill you!" Scar revolted and the granny hit him again and ran off.

"That's what you said fifty years ago and I'm still alive and wriggling!" Roy did a little dance in the chair but fell off in the process.

"I challenge you to a duel, Mustang!" the alchemist- hunter randomly picked up his cane and waved it threateningly in Roy's face.

"I accept!" Roy announced as Hawkeye threw him a weapon, in this instance it was her cane.

Thus, Scar and Roy faced off with canes in a very thrilling slow-paced duel till Scar tripped over a rather smug looking snail and fell over.

"Ahh! I'm getting too old for this!"

"You think? What are you, ninety-five?"

"Hey! I'm not the only geezer around here!"

"That's it! You're going down!"

"Wait!" Hawkeye interrupted before the battle grew terribly ugly, and two old men fighting with canes isn't the prettiest sight in the world.

"I heard it's the Elric's bingo night today."

The battle instantly stopped and there was a sudden cheer from the gang.

"Bingo!"

"WOot!"

"Stuff this fight, let's go!"

"But what about our duel?"

"Oh, lighten up!"

"Fine, but I'll get you next time!"

"You keep thinking that!"

And thus, the wrinkly officers (and a fugitive) harmoniously took off to the nursery home to play bingo before the day was done. Alas, the three sins trapped underground had nowhere to go and therefore missed out on the most glorious bingo game the day has ever seen. The End.

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Hope you liked it! Don't forget to review!


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